Wednesday 16 June 2010

We're from away

Yes, there are seniors in hospital waiting for a Long-Term Care placement. (P.S. To these journalists...we don't call it a 'nursing home' anymore. It is LTC) Yes, in Muskoka, there are long waiting lists. It is true everywhere. What REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE was the Bracebridge Examiner article that complained about retirees in Muskoka who are taking up LTC placements. They interviewed a daughter who was complaining that her mother, in Lake of Bays, who was given 3 choices for LTC and was sent to Gravenhurst. The wait for a place near the daughter's home was 2 - 3 years in Huntsville, much closer.

You'll forgive a rant. After looking after my parents, moving 400+ km, leaving behind adult children to find a new job, in a new school, to be closer to my parents, I have retired in the family home. Fond memories of Muskoka. Dad and Uncle Aust fished while at the cottage. A grand time had by all.

Mom and Dad, having bought property here in 1960, then sold their Toronto home and built our house to live in their beloved Muskoka. My aunt and uncle had bought property here first. They have passed away, family has sold the properties. We bought the swamp at the end of the road, but hard worked made it a paradise. Dad spent many hours BBQing on the deck.

They lovingly cleared the land, back-breaking work done on weekends and summers (1960 - 1962). We would bring a picnic lunch, as town was not very developed, and we needed to save a dollar. Once summer came, and the cottage built, Dad would leave for work on Monday morning at 5:00 a.m., and we would walk down the road, rain or shine, to wait for him at the highway as he returned on Friday nights. He would have navigated traffic north to return to his beloved land. Dad would spend the weekend on his garden, once retired. We stayed here for 2 months when I was a child. Summers have been spent introducing our grandchildren to Muskoka.

Mom passed away (2006), as did Dad (2007). I had my own health issues — as the grief that was mine was difficult to bear. We retired and settled into their home, lovingly created. The number of coats of varnish on each stairway rung has now died with them, but it has to be 4 or 5. We were married on our front lawn. It was a delightful place to be wed.

Imagine my chagrin as I read this brand new Metroland article. It appears that seniors are having health issues. Who knew? Metroland, ' Ontario's largest and most successful community newspaper publisher, provides local news and advertising media/info in Canada's heartland.'

Metroland has saved a buck by having three journalists (Mike Adler, Jillian Follert and Rob O'Flanagan) co-write the same article, first in a series of 4, that writes of senior health care. I can state, fairly, that I wrote the book. In fact, I made a presentation at the North Simcoe Muskoka Palliative Care Conference last week. As an adult daughter I gave up a lot to care for my parents.I wanted to share my expertise. Living and Dying With Dignity is a tricky prospect, at best.

The Metroland articles, published in many local papers across the province (e.g., Parry Sound, Bracebridge, Huntsville, Cambridge, Hamilton, Durham), are somewhat similar. All are fine tuned to incorporate local data, and they all bemoan the health care system. Seniors in Parry Sound are 'Falling through the cracks'. In another article, we are 'Punishing our seniors'. Another, Hurry Up and Wait. All the same article, raising the cry. You know that if it bleeds, it leads! Many seniors are begin cared for well by many in the system.

The alternative is for the ailing senior to sit in a hospital bed and take the place of someone need more nursing care, when they could be placed in LTC with less required care, freeing up the bed. What they said in the article (p. A7) is that residents and cottagers who retire up north, are to be judged on two different levels. Apparently, my parents, having cottaged since 1960 were lesser citizens that those who live here. This photos shows one of our picnics. They date from the early days.

I am shocked. I am amazed that Metroland Media would print such a statement. Retirees taking up beds for those who 'live here'. Perhaps, it is best we move back to Ottawa where we will not be considered 'from away'. Where I can be assured that those most needing space will be granted a bed, while those who can be cared for at home will be on a waiting list. Stay tuned for our house listing. Family home. Property owned by Jilks since 1962, second owners. Waiting for someone not 'from away' to move in. Someone whose spot in LTC will not be begrudged by someone from here. Someone who does not buy locally, volunteers in the community, and invests hard-earned pension dollars in Muskoka.

5 comments:

Nancy Tapley said...

I'm not "from away." When my mom (married to my Dad, second generation on the land here) had to go into LTC, there were limited choices. They all involved driving longish distances. I gave up a lot... but not as much as she had to give up, leaving her home. We did our best to look after her, until the issues became too overwhelming and full time care was needed. Is it a perfect world? Far far from it.
I didn't encounter different levels of need in the system, and most of the folks really tried to be helpful (with the exception of her doctor, who was obstructive, uninterested, and generally wrote her off because, "well, after all, she IS 82..." but that's another issue)
So moving to Ottawa may not solve the issues, and I'm sad you have to leave your cottage and all its memories.
I rarely believe what I read in that paper... as you say, bleeds, leads...

Red said...

I read this post with great interest and have decided to post a piece on my relatives and long term care. Maybe more stories will bring about some change. I hope you don't mind that I'm "stealing" an idea from you!

VioletSky said...

I've been following this series (in The Spec)I didn't realize these articles were fine tuned to reflect specific communities and were appearing all over.
it is a frustrating situation for everyone involved. But you are right, it is the person who must move into the LTC who loses the most, and the family who gives up the most.

Susannah Anderson said...

That was an unfortunate, unthinking comment (retirees not "living here"). I bet if they were challenged on it, with your parents' history as an example, they would reconsider their assumptions. They probably think retirees live there a couple or five years before they need help. Even then, to deny them service because of their "newbie" status is unconscionable.

My parents moved from the Sunshine Coast to Agassiz, at the tail end of the Fraser Valley, when Mom was just about to the unmanageable stage of Alzheimer's. When, a few months later, she needed to be moved, she was given a bed immediately, first in a neighbouring town, then moved to the first available bed in Agassiz. No issues with her being a newcomer.

Don't give up on your family home over one insensitive comment; challenge it! (As you are doing in this post.)

Jenn Jilks said...

Thank you, Susannah. But family is why I want to move. The cottage sits empty. Kids cannot find time to visit, with work, friends and families. Our friends live nearer Ottawa.

I think it time to let go and throw it up to the universe! It is a beautiful piece of land. One I love and know intimately, but it should be used. I contemplated this last year, after visiting with granddaughter #1.